i don’t use this blog anymore. you can find me here:

http://just-jibberjabber.blogspot.com/

i dont believe in god… but now i am sure he is there… n he is out to get me!!!… how can i post these one line blogs but not the big ones??? anyway i have shifted my blog now.. here u go.. http://just-jibberjabber.blogspot.com/ 

Its that time again where i have to intentionally get depressed in order to get motivated(in other words- FREAKED out) for the upcoming exams….sigh…. life just isn’t fair… i right now have loads of records to write… the last date for submission is the 22nd… i also have internals coming up… i have to attend every class to make up for the shortage of attendace!! this is what happens when thrz excess of fun during the semester… i haven’t even started a single subject n i dont even have internal average..arrrgh… i am so mad at myself!!!… it was just all play and no work in this semester.. what the hell do i do now???.. i am sooo dead!!… HELP!!

Yet another weekend, yet another boring day..!! what plans I had for today.. I wanted to go watch OSO or jab we met… catch up with varsha.. go out for lunch or something or just shop for my b’day which was 5 days ago!! but all I have done today is sit here in my room and lament about how dull today is!!…I am actually glad that I have college tomorrow.. 4 days of holidays did no good to me.. I expected these four days to refresh me.. sort of like a break after internals.. phewww… I donno if the problem is with me or the rest of the world for being so positive bout weekends. I mean what good is a weekend when the tickets for all the movies you wanted to watch were sold out even before you got there and your best friend is too busy with her boyfriend… ?? poor poor me!! there are times when I wish the day doesn’t end.. but it does. But some days.. like today I cannot wait for the day to end.

where do i begin???? my birthday was so fantastic.. that i never for once cribbed about turning 20!!!… i just loved it!!! first yashoda turns up at my place at midnight.. i mean its yashoda… that was unbelievable…, i get wished by everyone in college.. even from the ones i never expected and today i got a surprise b’day party!! well.. its a party for both sham n myself… even better!!.. i got to share my b’day with one of my best friends!!!… it was all just soooooooooo soooooo soooooo good… i cannot find words to express what was going on in my head!!… do i really deserve such good friend????… i donno.. but i am one lucky girl i guess life’s back on the rosy track!!.. ‘I’m lovin it!!’

woke up with a big smile. no college.. nothing much to worry about at least until tomorrow and then looked outside my window to see a bright sunny day. It felt great to see the sun out after such a long time…. searched the entire house for the newspaper and finally found it in dad’s room… nothing much in the news.. the same 2 month old drama of the coalition government breaking down, the negligence of the BWSSB, the suicide bombs in pak, pak team coming to india blah blah blah.. so i turned to the horoscope section.. nothing much there.. i dont believe in that crap anyway( but somehow i just have to go through it every single day!! ) so i just closed the paper and then something caught my eye… THE DATE.. its the 1st of november!!.. that means there is less than a week for my birthday.. i am going to be sooooo soooo soooo old!!.. i dont want to turn 20 …. it sounds so.. err.. ewwww!! i dont feel 20.. n i dont want to look it either!! i am a very very satisfied soul at 19… it just feels great to be 19… coz every crazy thing i do, or every time i snap at mom… i can just blame it all on the ‘teenage tantrums/hormones-watever’ and remain guilt free.. and now i cannot do that… people are going to look at me like a 20 year old.. they’ll expect me to behave n mom is going to give me more lectures on life n shit like that… i have already had enough!!! i dont like being a grown up.. at 19… i already act(maybe not) n think like a 30 year old.. i dont know what i am going to do when i turn 20… i hate to think that in the past 19 years of me living here on the planet.. i haven’t accomplished anything… nothing… i feel like such a waste!!…. i hate birthdays!!!!… its a good thing i have internals on my birthday… i can ignore it… n remain 19 for a week longer(dont ask me how that is going to work-i’m old enogh to figure it out!!)…  oh no!!.. it just struck me… from now on.. i’ll fall into the catogory of the ‘20-something’!! ewwww ewww ewwww… that doesn’t sound good!!

After a series of depressing n disappointing days…. there comes one more!!!… but it got better today.. i think it was the chocolate cake…. my mood was a lil alrite n also because i shopped!!!… retail therapy.. cant go wrong with tht!!… so i got this reallly cool striped t-shirt… somethin i always wanted n some kinda designer jeans…. i had met yasho earlier for lunch so felt goood… like how i always feel when i meet her… 

And so it rained and rained and rained and it is still pouring!!!….what a depressing Saturday!!…i had such great plans for today…. n all i could do was listen to one song over n over again until i grew sick of it!!… u know once upon a time, not too long ago i loved the rain and everything that came with it… the smell of wet mud.. the chill in the wind n stuff like that which makes up most of the mushy song lyrics but now…. its a totally different story all together!!… WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME??!!!….. i actually do know the answer to that… i just choose not to think over that…n coming back to what i did today… also spoke to anvith for a looong loooong time… he was speaking about this girl he is sooo in love with but just wont admit to… sheesh.. guys!!… so yeah.. that was my weekend…. grrreat … just simply GREAT!!

Do u know the true meaning of ‘JOBLESS’ ????…. lemme tell u… i’ve had tons of experience in that… JOBLESS:- it is when you run a google search for ‘ideas’ …. !!!sheeesh!!

why doesn’t everything go right at the same time??!!…. arrrgh!!… maybe coz then it would be called heaven… n i certainly dont belong there!!.. get wat i mean??… nah.. forget it… its way too complicated!!

happy birthday sweetheart!!… love you.. cant tell u how much i am missing u out here!!!.. love ya!!!…

BORED. BORED. BORED. REALLY BORED!!… Its nisha’s b’day today.. so gotta go get her a gift n then go for the party later on… but i am sooo broke!! i have to write 15 programs before tomorrow..i just am not upto doin it.. why should i do it??.. watz it worth to anyone??.. it’s not like the world is goin to come to an end if i don’t write it….so WHY should i do it?????.. arrrgh!!!.. its just 11 n i already am bugged with today!!.. WHY GOD WHY?? WHY ME??…

so we as a team set out to play throw ball.. inter college tournament… none of us..NONE knew anything about throw-ball or the tournament!!… we just decided( in less than 5 mins) to go out n have some fun..FUN…that we all knew!! so the two days turned out to be one hell of a roller coaster ride!!.. 9 girls staying in one room coz we couldn’t get any other accommodation!!.. there wer some cat fights.. obviously.. wat do u expect a bunch of girls to do anyway??.. but apart from that we did have a lot of fun…. we did some crazzzy stuff…. oh n bout the match…??…… we lost!!!… .. but really… it doesn’t matter!!..

Have u ever seen the world upside down?? I mean literally??.. the other day a friend n me climbed up the water tank on the terrace using a ladder… we were high on coffee..lol!! it was sometime around 6 in the evening.. beautiful stuff!!!.. I stay right in the middle of the city… its complete chaos around my place.. so serenity does not exist!!.. but that day it did.. we could still hear the traffic n all… but.. I donno what it was.. but it was just fantastic… we were lying down there n counting the number of aero planes that went by since the stars could not be seen…lol!!.. we saw the world upside down….. it looked like this….. isn’t it amazing???

i am not dead!!.. oh well… results are out…not good… but not bad either !!..

… results are out on the 17th…tht will be in less than 48 hrs!!.. hmm… anvith got his… n he has a year back… i am praying soooooo hard that i don’t… thrz no way i can face that.. i dont blame anyone for this but myself.. i knew it all along.. but..but i worked really hard in 4th sem unlike in the 3rd… i don’t deserve to go thru all of this… i just cannot!!.. i knw i am strong n all… but c’mon.. this is way too much for me…. I’ve been a good gurl most of the time.. so i deserve to just get thru………………….. so well… if i don’t post a blog after the 17th… assume me dead(no kiddin).. n pray for my soul!!.. plzzz!!

“i am surprised you even called”
well… i am surprised myself!!!… actually i was made to…. it was certainly not what i would have done…. i was more thinking of sending a pretty little card….

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“congratulations on turning into a ’super bitch’ “

I donno what hurts more. what she did or she lying to me bout it…. its easy to say ‘I don’t give a damn!’… I just don’t want to do that…. not anymore…. more to save my own sanity than for saving her the trouble!!

Had classes from 9 to 4 !! with 2 block hours!!.. i am sure this is some big conspiracy to kill us or to make us go insane!!… yuckky yuckky ppl!!… so well.. i came back home, put on the music n crashed on the bed… n i just woke up!!!!!!!!!… mom n dad apparently tried to wake me up before they left… so anyway they left a note beside me… n i was still sleeping when they returned..lol!!.. n mom freaked out… she thought i was sick or something!!… heehee.. moms!!.. n so dad felt all sorry for me.. so he got me stuff to eat from daily bread…..ahhh… food…sweet food!! :)… did i mention how much i love daddy???…. i love mom too… … i am still feeling sleepy!!.. but cant sleep yet.. i have to watch boston legal… n its at 10!!… looong loong wait!! n shantha, sweety… what happened to u??.. i knw u have some exam sorta thingy.. i remember u told me bout it… but u are always online.. anyways.. all the best!!.. misshhh u!!

ohhh… ohh.. did i ever mention hari??.. heheee.. i’m sorta blushing now!!.. ok.. he’s my friend’s boyfriend… hehee… n i have a crush sorta thingy on him!!!… ok… don judge me yet!!… he is my lab partner…. he has a gorgeous smile… like really good.. u know every time he smiles.. i cant help but do so too.. actually i smile every time i see him!!…lol..!! you see… he is not exactly ‘my type’.. u know.. its just some crazy thing!!… nothing to do with love or anything… its just fun!!.. n he smokes too much.. n thtz a NO-NO for me!!… remember how i used to hate lab hour??.. well… i cant wait for it now!!….

Ok.. I am feeling a lil better now …I have decided to stay at home all day today and clean up the mess in my room. I have to go for dinner with family… hmm.. I really hate this part!!.. dinner with mom n dad is totally fine.. with some uncles n aunties n some cousins I hardly speak to, is what irritates me the most!! I barely even know them.. ok I agree I don’t make any effort to get to knw them …thtz coz I don’t see the need to!!!… so I basically have to keep a fake smile on all thru dinner!!!!… sheeesh!!… and I really want to bake something now… but thrz no egg at home n also no cream… n I cannot bake something without those n I am too lazy to go to the stores!!… I am sooo addicted to cocoa!!…right now.. thrz  low cocoa content in my blood…n thtz driving me crazzzy!!… I’ll go n have some hot chocolate…. That should save mw from this temporary sate of  gloominess… or maybe it’s the rain… or.. I donno.. just everything.. arrrgh!!